If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
