She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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