its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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