And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
