My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just took my morning after pill in the library
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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