stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
