Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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