you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
