i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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