just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
