Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
