one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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