you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
