If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
