found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
