dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
