Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
