Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
