very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I can text with my tongue
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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