Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
