a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
