Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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