I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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