the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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