if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
