God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
