what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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