Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
