I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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