I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
