Already got asked if we're dating
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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