There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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