I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
