Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
