i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
