And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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