is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
