when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
