Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
