You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
