Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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