maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
