Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
