Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
