I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
