You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
