so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
