you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
how does that bad decision feel?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
