All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
