there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
