She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i was born a porn star she said
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
